Wednesday, October 10, 2012

I Thought You Were Gone.

Last Tuesday evening (Isabella's 5th birthday) I had a scare.

The worst pregnancy scare a momma could have.

I was rushed to the ER where the doctor told me my hcg levels were very low.

Where they told me this could be the beginning of a miscarriage.

My heart and earth shattered. I cried. I sobbed. I tucked myself into a dark hole.

Another miscarriage? Why?

I got my hcg levels checked on Friday. A little over 48 hours since my last draw.

I waited patiently, knowing that the results would be not what I prayed for.

I answered the phone on the first ring.

The doctor asked me how I was doing. I told her okay. Just okay.

She surprised me.

"Your levels have more than doubled since the ER visit."

What? How is this possible?

She explained to me that some women bleed in pregnancy. No explanations, they just did.

I had my ultrasound yesterday.

5 weeks 4 days.

Still pregnant.

Gestational sac? Check. Yolk sac? Check.

I am still pregnant. Very, very scared. But very, very pregnant.