No Matter What...

Here it is, the final day of January. I promised I would blog more.

And I obviously failed. I'm trying--baby steps, right? Trying to find time during my crazy, hectic life right now. It is hard, but I miss it. I miss pouring my thoughts out. It is a type of therapy.

So, for today's therapy I have a few things to get off of my mind and onto the screen. Maybe one day I will look back at this post and smile...smile that life has a funny way of working out no matter what you may be thinking at the time.

I would like to start off with an announcement....this baby in my belly?

Totally team BLUE. We are having a boy!

And in typical baby of the family fashion, he has made sure to make me aware that he is here all of the time.

When I was 5 weeks or so I was told I was miscarrying. I was devastated. Until after many appointments and blood draws later, guess what? Little babe was there, fighting away.

Fast forward to now. I opted to have the integrated screening blood draw performed in my 2nd trimester. This test can tell you if baby may have any abnormalities, etc. Some women take it so they can prepare themselves for anything that could be going on. I thought that I would appreciate knowing if something was different with Mason.

I thought wrong.

One week ago today I received a phone call from my OB. In typical pregnant mom fashion, I was napping. I let it roll over to voicemail and called her when I woke up.

I knew right away that she was going to tell me something about the stupid blood test. I knew it. Right then and there I wished I had never, ever had the screening test done.

I call her back and she gently tells me that my screening test came back positive for Down Syndrome. My chance of Mason having Down Syndrome went to 1 in 31. Those numbers terrified me. She reassured me that the anatomy scan was perfect, there can be false positives. But that made me feel guilty to be reassured.

I love Mason no matter what differences he may have. I cried. I called my mom bawling. I kept telling her I wish I never found out, because I will love him no matter what.

I go in on Monday (Feb 4th) for more testing. The good news? I get to see my little man on the big screen--a high tech ultrasound! They will look for any markers of Down Syndrome. They will offer me an amnio, but the *tiny* risk of miscarriage just isn't worth it. I pray that they will be able to perform the materniT21 blood test that has a high accuracy rate of checking for Down Syndrome. If they don't offer it, I will be okay with it.

I have had a lot of time this past week to think of Mason and the what-ifs. He is loved tremendously no matter how he is born. The day I found out my risks I mourned for the baby that I *thought* I was having. Does that make sense? But then I realized, even if he is born with Down Syndrome, that he will be so loved and he is so, so wanted. Nothing will make me EVER think differently.

This whole ordeal has made me see life through another window. Before I feel like my vision was clouded over...that I never understood how a simple blood draw, a few words could change your life in a matter of seconds. But mine did.

Mason may not have Down Syndrome. But if he does, well, he has it for a reason--we were chosen to be his parents for a reason, to love him unconditionally, which we will.

I will update as I find out more information...so until then, xoxo.

The Green Ticket by Samantha March

Synopsis
College junior Alex Abrams scores her dream job at the ripe age of twenty – manager to a successful salon and spa. Thrilled to finally have a real adult job, Alex enthusiastically jumps into the world of schedules, conference calls, and getting a massage when interviewing prospective employees. What she doesn’t expect are the very grown-up issues that comes with a demanding boss. Kevin Dohlman quickly becomes Alex’s worse nightmare – covering up his affairs, dealing with his enormous ego, and trying to protect her female staff from him becomes a full-time job in its own right. Alex has also befriended Kevin’s wife and co-owner, Dani, and is trying to keep Kevin’s secrets hidden from her. The situation only worsens when Kevin starts paying Alex off to make sure she keeps her insider knowledge to herself.

While struggling to keep her wits and stay happy with her new grown-up job, Alex is juggling college courses, a new love interest, and keeping up with her close group of girlfriends. When her roommate and best friend Lila gets offered an opportunity to move to Los Angeles and sign with an agent, Alex realizes her life truly is changing, and everyone around her – including herself – is is growing up. Knowing she is faced with some hard decisions ahead, Alex struggles with keeping her job at Blissful. But does she really want to throw away what she dreamed of as a career – or will the secret-keeping for Kevin become too much to handle? The Green Ticket is a story about morals versus money, and how one young woman navigates the shaky line between the two.

Review
The moment that I opened this book, I was in love. Samantha's writing style is incredible: easy to read, the words just flow together in a way that makes reading so much fun! I loved reading the book from Alex's point of view. Her group of friends are the rock in her life, without them I don't believe that Alex would have succeeded in following her dream to manage a spa. Suddenly Alex has landed her dream job, has found Mr. Right, and if it all seems to good to be true? It is because it is. Shady things are being discovered daily about her dream job, which makes Alex wonder if going through the dramatics is truly worth it?
I rate this book a high five out of five stars--if I could, I would give it more! I stayed up into the night reading (that is how I know that I found myself a winner) and was finished within a few days. Samantha March knows what she is doing when she writes a novel--I cannot wait to add more novels by her to my collection as they become published.

About the author

Samantha March is an author, editor, publisher, blogger, and all around book lover. She runs the popular book/women’s lifestyle blog ChickLitPlus, which keeps her bookshelf stocked with the latest reads and up to date on all things health, fitness, fashion, and celebrity related. In 2011 she launched her independent publishing company Marching Ink and her debut novel Destined to Fail. When she isn’t reading, writing, or blogging, you can find her cheering for the Green Bay Packers.

Want to connect with Samantha? You can find her here:

http://samanthamarch.com

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Goodreads

Where to buy

Amazon: Print or eBook
Barnes and Noble: eBook

Kobo: eBook

Marching Ink: Print

I received an e-book of The Green Ticket in order to facilitate the above review. All opinions are my own and no other compensation was given. A big thank you to Samantha March and Chick Lit Plus for this great opportunity!

Friends, I Have Missed You

So, yes, I have been MIA for quite some time.

Yes, I have been the world's worst blogger.

Yes, I have many, many reasons...that you may find entertaining.

Reason one? Leo has deployed. Again. He left before Thanksgiving. During all of my morning sickness. During the time that families are supposed to come together and dwell on the many thanks in their lives. I have been a busy, busy woman as you can surely imagine.

Reason two? I am sure my house has been hit with the plague. Not just one plague, but more like every plague that has crossed into Mississippi, my girls have caught. I have caught 3 out of 4 of the bugs. It's been stressful, filled with ER visits, and lots of defeated tears from me.

Reason three? This baby? In my belly? Holy tiredness. If I am not sleeping, I am dreaming of sleeping. Or wishing I was sleeping. Or counting the hours until sleep. You get the picture...

Speaking of baby--guess who finds out the sex on January 14th? This girl! So excited. Over the moon. Thinking this may be a boy (finally), but also am totally okay with another, our fourth, girl. Very excited!

So, in a nutshell, I have been pretty busy. I am trying to come up with a little blog time for myself. I miss it. I miss my friends in the blog world. I miss streaming my thoughts onto the screen.

And who know? Perhaps I may get a wild hair and start to read blogs again...xoxo