Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Yes, She Still Takes a Paci.

I've had it up to, oh, here with comments I get when people realize that Isabella still takes a paci. It's her safety net. Her comfort zone. Her soother. It's what gets her through a tantrum when nothing. else. will. And I'm sorry, but I refuse to give into demands for snacks, candy, tv shows etc.

I realize that one day she will be off the paci. I have yet to see a 16 year old driving down the road with a paci in their mouth--so I'm assuming I'm safe in my assumption that she won't be taking her paci for another 12 years.

I don't dog on other parents who do things differently. I certainly don't judge other parents for how they decide and choose to raise their children. And most importantly? I will never make a bitchy comment to another mother for how she is raising her child and the choices that she is forced to make every single day.

So, just a word of advice to any motherbitches {thank you, Shell, for this uber fabulous word} that may be lurking in the shadows:

Do not assume that because my 2 year old still has a paci that I am a bad mother.

Do not assume that because my 2year old still has a paci that I have no control over her.

Do not assume that because my 2 year old still has a paci that I can't figure out how to break her of the habit. It's not like she's out smoking and drinking--it's a pacifier.

And do not, under any circumstances, assume that because my 2 year old still has a paci that it gives you the right to offer parenting advice or to act so shocked that she has a paci.

Does it annoy you when you get snarky comments about how you raise your children? I typically ignore it. Or choose to blog about them *insert sugary sweet smile here*.

*This happened irl--not in blogland. Just wanted to make sure that nobody thought I was talking about them. xoxo

55 comments:

KLZ said...

Yeah, I'm not a fan of comments. I get "where's his jacket"? a lot. Well folks, we're inside and he gets hot easily. It's in my bag. Back off.

Don't offer those motherbitches any wine.

Kristi said...

OOOOHHHH!!!! I can hear how angry you are...I am SO calling you to get details!

And LMAO about:
1. Picturing a 16 year old driving down the road with a paci. Remember when all the hood rat girsl in the 90's had that paci fad?? GROSS!
2. I like how you said its not like she is smoking and drinking. LOL I can just picture my little B now...totally taking after her mommy and aunt in their wilder days.

But in all seriousness - I totally know what you are saying! I am SO tired of all of the pregnancy "ADVICE" I have been getting and I know it gets a million times worse when you become a mother. UGHHHHhhhh

I am way meaner/more bitchy than you and I probably would have been the person that made you mad's worst enemy if I would have been there.

Chantal said...

Ugh! I HATE the negative comments! Well not just negative, because I think people can have different opinions, but the judgement is what pisses me off! I have very strong beliefs on how I want to raise my children and a lot of people don't agree with some of the boundaries we have set (we are super crunchy and earthy) and people have had the audacity to tell me that I am ruining their lives! I have also been told that because I don't let my 12 month olds eat processed snacks that they will have eating disorders when they are older. Someone actually said those words! It makes me so angry! I never judge people and tell them their choices are wrong. Geez who are these people?

Wow, I just did a major rant on your comment section, but I agree with you. :)

Erin said...

Oh, h3LL no! Miss H is a thumb sucker and I know I'll NEVER break her of that....

Anne - Mommy Has to Work said...

I use to get comments about my daughter not having socks in the winter, (although we live in south florida) use to upset me, not anymore. my children are hot children and don't like a lot of clothing!

Kmama said...

I had 11 pacifiers when I was young and I gave them up when I was 3 or 4. They were the super ugly brown ones, because that's all they had then. I had special spaces for each one when I was sleeping (like looped around my big toe, one poking me in the eye, others laying across my forehead). And guess what? I gave them up on my own and I never needed braces.

Carrie said...

My son is over 2 1/2 and still has his paci. And I'm not starting potty training yet. Because neither are battles that are worth my time at this point. My MIL is appalled by both things and comments on them. I try to ignore it.

Evonne said...

I hate when moms think their way is the right way for everyone else.

My son gets really hot really fast, too, so I'm always getting that jacket comment.

Nikki said...

It amazes me how people think they have the right to say whatever they want. There seems to be no filter anymore....it's important that we don't judge because we have no idea what other peoples circumstances are!
And no...I have never seen a 16 year old with a nuk so I think you are safe....if thats what helps your daughter then let her have it!!

Ali @ Mommie Life said...

ewww... I HATE people that stick their noses where they don't belong!!! Your a great mom!! Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise!! Some people... ugh...

Krystyn said...

Moms are brutal, aren't they? And, if you don't do it their way, you are wrong, aren't you?

Keep doing what works for you guys. You shouldn't have to defend your ways to anybody!

Much More Than Mommy said...

My mom ALWAYS said "you never see a graduate walking with his blankie" or "you never see a bride walking down the aisle in a diaper." :-) Li'l Bit had her bottle until she was 2, and that earned me some raised eyebrows. Well, thppt on them! THPPT, I say! ;-)

danielle said...

Oh girl! Lexi didn't start crawling until she was 11 months old, and everyone had an opinion about that. It's not like I could MAKE her crawl!
You're the mom, you know what's best for your child! Everyone else can shove it!

Shell said...

I don't know why people think they can tell us how to parent. Each child is so different, there's no point in making comments about what each mom chooses to do. Not when it's something so insignificant.

Melissa said...

You do what you want with your kids right? That is why YOU are their mom! My son never took a paci, but he is attached to his blankie (he LOVES the satin). Why take away the comfort when its not affecting them or anyone else? You go mommy!

MommyLovesStilettos said...

THis just really bothers me. If mothers just stopped being so judgemental and bitchy and tried supporting eachother the world (and definitely the blogworld) would be a much happier place. You do what works for you, and don't let haters bring you down.

I can't stand motherbitches!

Heather said...

Yes, yes I hate snarky comments on how I do things as a mother. My mom (I love her dearly) but sometimes she ticks me off. It has been chilly here the last few days but my house stays really warm. And I had capris on Allison and I get its too cold for that outfit. Mom, we are in the house and we are not planning on leaving and it is warm in here. Ahhhh!

Mommy to a lil lady[bug] said...

I went thru it to! My daughter had a paci til she was 2 1/2 and wasnt potty trained til after her 3rd birthday!

I have heard it all, but each child is different and it doesnt make you any less of a great mother if they are a lil slower on things!

Adrienne said...

Nope buggy boy was two and gave it up on his own other wise he could have had it =) My BFF's lil boy still has his and will be 3 in july but only at bed time because when they don't he tries to suck his thumb... So yep sometimes you gotta leave the safety net in place ...Other moms or non moms should just remember each and every child is different

Jessica said...

While I do have my own opinion on this, your post has truly opened my eyes. I would say that I assume you're one way or the other, but again, I am very opinionated about them (and a lot of other things).

HOWEVER, I am willing to admit that my opinions aren't yours, which means you're probably not going to raise your kids the same way I might raise mine. I don't think it's fair for anyone to be judged or snarky comments to be made simply because others have a different parenting style.

So sorry you're feeling this way, but I love the fact that you stand your ground - that's what makes a good momma! Hang in there, Chelle, and totally defend your babies!

Jennifer Leigh said...

Perfectly written!

Johnny tossed his on his second birthday. Gavin I said I'd do the same but I think it took another 6 months. I had the same attitude you did.

Brittney said...

my nephew had a paci until he was 4.. kids will do things when they are ready! I'm sick of parents and their unsolicited advice!!

Lin said...

Great post Chelle! My god-daughter had a paci til she was 3 1/2. She finally gave it up, on her own. Kids will be kids :)

Elaine A. said...

I'm so tired of everyone getting all judgy on each other. And also? The image of a 16 yr old girl with a paci in her mouth driving down the road is pretty funny! ;)

Terra said...

I just wanted to say that I don't care how long your daughter sucks on a paci, she is your daughter and it is her paci...and seriously I am with you she won't be driving with it...

Kelli @ writing the waves said...

Um...she's two for heaven's sakes. Noah was three before he gave up his paci. Don't even worry about it, Chelle. Some people are so bold, aren't they? Love the new term for moms like that - haha :)

The Mommyologist said...

Amen! Mine had a paci till he was over three years old and he is no worse for wear!

As a parent, you have to do what WORKS to keep your sanity, and if she needs that paci then don't worry about it one bit!!

There are just so many people out there who like to think that they are better parents than you and it makes them feel good to put you down for your parenting choices. Screw 'em!

Jenny said...

Totally agree...will is back on his binky...again....but that is the least of my worries...my sister will sometimes make comments and i remind her that her daughter was on the paci tell after she was 3...my sister fails to remember that though...
i do have a friend that gives me a lot of motherly advice...sometimes i nod in agreeance just so i don't have to hear it over and over again...he's my kid for crying out loud...

Misty said...

2 thumbs up!
If a paci is what comforts your child as she goes through transition and changes as she ages then so be it... its your baby, keep her secure and safe for as long as possible.
-Misty

My Mercurial Nature said...

I got the same comments when Daughter was still nursing at age 2yrs. Eventually I stuck with return lines like, "Yup, I'm preparing to live with her in her dorm room so we can nurse between classes, too"

Mama (Heidi) said...

No pacis in our house, unfortunately I wanted my kids to take a paci. My son at 3 and 1/2 still has a blue fleece blankie that he has to have to sleep. Dirves my parents nuts, but I say what's the big deal it's a blanket in bed with him. He also didn't start potty training until he was wall past 3 years old and oh the comments that brought on. To each his own for real..

Sarah said...

Don't feel badly about it AT ALL! My daughter has such a tough time with the sippy, I usually just giver her a bottle. You know what my mom said to me? "No teenager is walking around with a bottle. If it works now, do not make a big deal about it!" You do what you need to do, now. She'll give it up when she's ready. I think you are a great mom!

Marvelous Mommy said...

Haha I was hoping to see a big picture of her with the paci posted at the bottom!

My daughter has a hemangioma. So I get the weird stares. I would rather people ask me about it instead of "omg what's wrong with that baby". Screw em!

Ashley said...

Its amazing what people will say to someone. Where is it someone elses business what you're doing?

I once saw a woman with a backpack leash on her 12-year-old. The woman next to her made a comment and they were eventually thrown out of McDonalds because of their aruging.

I might now agree with that but it certainly wasn't my place to say anything. Nor should other people say anything to another mom. A lot of 2 year olds still have the paci.

Ashley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alexia said...

Thanks for visiting my blog. You've got a great blog yourself. :)

Bombtastic Belle said...

Hey, my nephew is 3 and still takes one! *lol* I figure whatever makes the kid happy, go with it and figure it out later.

I had a big ring of paci's when I was little, but accidently left it somewhere and my parents didn't get me anymore after that - I tink I was around 3 too. *lol*

amanda said...

you would think after all the crap we put each other through in junior high and high school that by the time we got to be mommies we would all just grow up.

guess not :(

Lindsay said...

I agree with amanda! We shouldn't have to put up with snarky comments. I try really hard to only give advice when its asked.. and even then I dont always like to give it because each child is different and each parent is different and we are all going to do it different and the kids of parents that care and try will turn out fine IMO.

Hattie said...

You tell 'em!!! Hey a paci is way better than a thumb! I was a thumb sucker and as a result I wore braces for 8 years, have a speech problem and I swallow backwards ( I push forward on my teeth). If my mom would have put a paci in my mouth instead of my thumb I wouldn't have these problems.

Every child is different and every parent has a different way of parenting. Plus you know what's best for YOUR child!

Theta Mom said...

It always amazes me how some mothers think what works for them would or should work for someone else. There is no cookie cutter way to parent - it is NOT one size fits all!

Rock on Chelle - I'm with you!
xoxo

Danielle said...

I am so with ya girlfriend. My two year old still has a paci. I refused to give her candy, sweets, etc. and It really does help her sleeping habits. I think we will hang on to it!!

ericka @ alabaster cow said...

i had a paci (i called it a binky) until i was 2. and i'm pretty fabulous. just saying :)

but you're right in not concerning yourself with other people's opinions. your child your rules!

Formerly Gracie said...

We're all addicted to something that takes away the pain. My son is FOUR and still sucks his thumb- not all the time, just when he needs reassurance. He also has a lovey that he takes with him everywhere. I think it's sweet and a far better approach to life than Ansley's coping method... screaming bloody murder until I pick her up, then pulling at my hair. Now THAT'S uncool.

Jennifer said...

Don't worry Sean is almost three and still has his! I am not taking it away yet! He only has it when he sleep :)
I stop blogging because of comments. Trying to come up with another way to blog when I do I hope you will follow me again :)

Meg from Megs A Mommy! said...

Motherbitches!! Love it!

I wish L would still take his paci. You are right, they leave it behind when they are ready. I don't see anything wrong with a 2 year old having a paci - WTF? That's like taking a child's blanky away at 2.

I get comments on how I am still breastfeeding and L is almost 1. On how I give him a bottle sometimes just so I can have a break. I even got a comment once about giving L a taste of strawberry shake and how he isn't supposed to have dairy until he is 1 (which my pediatrician said to start him on at 11 months.)

I'll bitch someone out if they choose to judge me in a public forum, but I usually blog about it instead haha!

J. L. W. said...

I think your label of unsolicited parenting advice says it all. People have a tendency to forget that your children are your children and that their unsolicited advice does more harm (to your psyche mostly because of the way it makes you feel) than good. You do what is right for you guys!

Erin said...

I have a friend whose 4 1/2 year old twins are still on the paci (at night only). So you are not alone. I have also kept my mouth shut about it. My kids eat plenty of candy and watch tv, so we all have our vices, right? I agree---we should all support one another and quit offering unsolicited advice.

purseblogger said...

Oh Chelle, so with you on this one. I get so sick of people telling me how to parent. Yeah, you're not alone one bit.

Susan said...

It's your child and no one knows them better than Mom.

My oldest never wanted a pacifier. She kept spitting it out. Her brother had a pacifier until he was almost 4. He used it for the last 2 years at night or when he was not feeling well. Both turned out to be productive adults with college degrees and good jobs.

Lauranie said...

Ok..so I don't have time to read all 50 (!!??) of your comments, so if I am repeating what others have said...sorry! :D First of all, I HAVE seen 16 yo with Pacis...it is all the RAGE on the Rave scene!! HA! Also, my older sister sucked her thumb until she was like 12, and my younger sister preferred her two middle fingers on her right hand. That went on until my daddy bribed her with a go-cart at 14!! So I think a Paci is MUCH more sanitary, and SHE IS ONLY 2 you motherbitches...GET OVER IT!! :D I've missed you girl!! I am trying to catch up with everyone...LOVE your DANCING videos..YOU ARE A RIOT!! We NEED to get together one day!!! xo

Pres. Kathy said...

Oh boy do I know how you feel! I think everyone should sometimes just keep their comments to themselves. People always ask me when I am going to cut my little guy's hair - why do they care so much??

Messy Mommy said...

She's two. That's not too old AT ALL> My gosh some of my 4-yr-old preschoolers would still have binks! We were on vacation this summer and lost Raven's bink. I thought she would go psycho but she was totally fine. Never needed it again. Weird.

Honey B. said...

What do you say to that?? I can't believe people are so bold, but they certainly are about SO many things. But if you have any thoughts about what to say, let me know- I'm such a snark IRL (lol) and I feel like I need to be prepared...lol

J.E. said...

I'm right there with ya on this one. My son turns 3 in August and I still haven't taken his paci away. Everyone can back the hell off- it's OK!
Thanks for sharing. I feel like I sweated it off a little just reading your post!!! It's not like we're sending them of to High School with them.