Thursday, April 1, 2010

Need to Get it Out. This is Rambling.

This week has been shit. There, I said it.

Shit.

I'm sorry if you're offended...but right now? I'm not worried about what others are thinking. I'm going through hell right now. Hell.

Not only have my girls been sick, one had a catheter {Madelyn}, both are running fevers. I'm worried about my babies.

And then. Then there is someone very, very close to my heart who is very, very sick. My heart is shattering in a million little pieces. My chest feels like I have an enormous weight on it. I can't breathe. I think about this person 24/7. 

I just feel like there are so many struggles right now. So many tears are being shed. I know I wrote my lucky post.

And I am lucky. Blessed. I know that. But right now I'm wondering why someone so close to me is suffering so much. Why?? Why does God let these things happen?

There are truly some things in life that make me question things. Him. Life in general. I don't understand why genuinely good, innocent people have to suffer. I don't understand why so many people are taken from our lives every single day.

Babies? Teens? Children? Parents? Really?? I don't understand any of this.

I just needed to get these thoughts off of my chest. I'm obviously going through a lot emotionally lately. Both at home and places where I cannot be right now--which kills me.

Okay. My ramblings are out. I wish I could say I feel better. But I don't....*sigh*

27 comments:

Ali @ Mommie Life said...

I'm so sorry your having a hard time right now. My heart goes out to you, your family and friend. Love you!

Jessica said...

I'm so sorry that you're going through such a difficult time. Please know that I'm thinking about you. :)

Lin said...

*hugs* I'm sorry you're going through so much right now. I hope your girls & your close friend get better soon. Take a deep breathe & cry if you have to. I always feel so much better after a good emotional cry. Well, that & a great glass of wine :)

Laura said...

Im so sorry. It does seem like shit sometimes especially when we get so over-loaded.

I question too sometimes...why good people seem to suffer more than bad people who seem to get away easy. Im sure there is an answer SOMEWHERE.

Hang in there...sending vitual hugs

Carrie said...

I'm so sorry that you're having to go through all of this. I hope your girls are all better soon and that your loved one is okay. Internet hugs going out to you. Please keep us updated.

Honey B. said...

It always seems to happen at once doesn't it...? Sending lots of hugs your way!
~HB

Terra said...

Good for you for getting it all out. I haven't been visiting long and visa versa but my world has been turned upside down and then shoved in a hole in the last month and my word of the year is HOPE...So come on let's hope together.

Much More Than Mommy said...

You have been an encouragement to me since I started reading you. My heart hurts for you, and I'm praying for you. <3

Becks said...

Im sorry to hear your girls are so sick! That is truly one of the worst things to go through as a mommy! Sending big hugs and prayers they get better very soon!!!

I too have been questioning everything lately. When did life get so hard? Perhaps as we get older we are more aware, more concerned with everything around us...because when I was 20 i didn't notice anything. Life was so easy. It sucks getting older, lol! As my dad says the rough times make you stronger, builds your character and teaches you perseverance...so true, but i would rather have less character and more easy times ;)

Hope you start feeling "up" again soon! Hugs!

Melissa said...

I'm sorry. The stupid saying "life isn't fair" is so true. I hope things start looking and feeling better soon. Good luck!

Shell said...

Sending prayers. I don't understand why these things happen either.

Llama said...

I am so sorry to hear that you have been going through a lot lately. My mother has MS and I think like this quite frequently...why? I just hope that there is something out there that will help comfort you and those who are not well. Wishing everyone well soon. xo

My Mercurial Nature said...

I'm so sorry that you've been dealing with such sadness (and illness) this week! I hope the girls are feeling well soon and your friend comes through whatever it is. ((HUGS))

MommyLovesStilettos said...

You are right, this week has been shit! I'm hoping that next week is much better for you and for me. *HUGS*

Pres. Kathy said...

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a hard time. I will pray for you and your family. I know that sometimes things just look so bleak, but we must keep going. God has a plan for us. We must trust Him. I know this is easier said then done, but talking about it and crying helps too. Lots of hugs to you!

LadyBug-Kellie said...

I am so sorry you are having such a rough time right now. I know most of us have times where we question those exact same things...it's impossible not to.
I am praying things will get better for you, your girls, and whoever you are thinking about right now.
*HUGS*

Connie K said...

So sorry your girls have been so sick ! Hope you and your family a much easier time ahead and are all healthy soon :) Have a wonderful weekend xoxo

danielle said...

I'll be praying for you! I hope your babies start feeling better soon! And that you can have peace and understanding for the other!

Bombtastic Belle said...

I am so sorry you're having a hard time... I have often asked the same questions and get angry. I hope your friend is able to get the help they need and deserve, and that the weight you feel is lifted.

Lindsay said...

ooo chelle im sorry your hurting and sad! I hope everyone feels better soon.. If it makes you feel any better know that God is sad that people are sick and dying. (((HUGS))) and prayers! Love you!

Krystyn said...

Here's to this weekend being more back to you and your family's normal.

Michelle said...

Oh, Chelle...I'm thinking of you girl. Praying for your babies and for the loved one who isn't doing so well either.

You're in my thoughts!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

purseblogger said...

{{HUGS}}
I'm so sorry this is all happening. It's so hard to understand, like you said. Know we love you and are praying for you, your kids, and your friend. <3

Meg from Megs A Mommy! said...

Thinking about you. I hope the shit lets up soon. Big Hugs!

Julie said...

Sorry I am late to this... but I am thinking of you! I hope the munchkins are feeling better and that the person so close to you is doing a little better. Hugs!

Rebecca D said...

{{{Chelle}}}
We all have the low moments... I feel one coming on myself... There is nothing worse then seeing your babies suffer... I wish I could help in some way... I'll pray for your friend and for you. Love ya girl... your sweet, funny, sincere words are a blessing to so many. I know because I am one of them.

Homesick Cajun said...

I'm so sorry boo! I've been where you are right now, wondering why...and honestly there are no answers! I'm sure you can imagine how much that pisses me off!

Hugs boo!