Tuesday, April 27, 2010

For the First Time...

For the longest time I've been hard on myself about my body and my looks. I remember reading Seventeen magazine and wishing I looked like those girls. Their hair, skin, and bodies? Were perfect. I would look at myself and cringe at what I saw. Glasses. Lanky arms. Thighs that were bigger than theirs. Pimples. Freckles. Crazy, unruly hair.

It's sad to think that I cannot remember a single time when I was a teen that I actually thought that I was pretty. Sad isn't it? I remember cringing at swimsuit season thinking I was "fat" or "overweight" when I wore a size 6 or 8 in Juniors. What was wrong with me? Why was I so hard on myself that I gave myself nothing but low self esteem? Was it due to these perfect bodies in every magazine that I opened? Was it from movies and television? Where did my self loathing start...and why did I allow it to last so long?

I look at my body now. Yes, I admit, it hasn't been easy getting used to my new body and looks after I had my girls. It hasn't always been easy stepping on the scale and seeing that I am 30 pounds heavier than when I was initially pregnant with Isabella.

But now? I'm happy. I don't mind seeing my stretchmarks. I don't mind seeing a little cellulite. I don't mind that I have more of a pooch now on my stomach. I don't mind that I wear two sizes bigger in clothes now.

Some of you may be sitting there wondering seriously, Chelle? You don't mind because why...?

That answer is easy. Over the years I have learned to love myself. My skin, my body and my hair. I have realized that my girls love me no matter what. My husband loves my extra curves. I can look in the mirror and smile knowing what all I went through to get here--to get where I am today.

Because for the first time in my life I love what I see. And even more? I love who I have become.

32 comments:

Krista said...

Good for you, Chelle! And I think most women can relate to your post - unfortunately we're born into a society where looks are what matters - unattainable perfection is posted on huge billboards and splashed across movie screens/TV. I felt the same way growing up and still find it hard sometimes to just feel "pretty."

But I know I am - because my boys all tell me so!

You are beautiful just as you are - a lovely mommy three times over!!! :)

Happy Tuesday.

Shell said...

Fabulous post!

Love your confidence. :)

Angie said...

Hooray!!!

Rebecca D said...

Yeah you! I am going to make Sparky & Cate read this... they have no idea how beautiful they are... drives me nuts!

Evonne said...

Awesome post! I think every mom needs to read this!

I posted today about trying to have this kind of confidence.

Kmama said...

That is inspiring. I wish, no I STRIVE to be more like you.

amanda said...

good for you mama!!

Ali @ Mommie Life said...

Yay! This is awesome!! More of us need to take advice from you and learn to love our own skin!! It's hard but I am going to take a step and think more positively towards myself too! :)

Hattie said...

Woohoo! Way to go Chelle! I love this post. I hope soon that I can get to that place. I'm taking baby steps to love myself. Hearing you say that you love the way you are helps me so much! Thank you, thank you!!!

Nikki said...

I love your confidence and it's so nice to hear women embrace what they have. I still struggle with it but hearing others embrace it makes it easier to start doing so!!
It's amazing how you look at life and yourself after having kids!! Things change and you really start to realize whats important!!

Heather B. said...

I so could have written this post except for the last part about loving my looks. Yeah, not so much. But I did struggle in high school and I wonder why because I wore a 5 or 6 in juniors and would LOVE to wear that again. But my new motto is this "I wish I was as FAT as I THOUGHT I was in high school" One of my high school friends said that to me once and it stuck!

So proud of you for loving yourself and being confident enough to post this. xoxoxo

Shannon said...

You are amazing and I could really learn a thing or two from you. I still need a lot of help in this area. Thanks so much for posting, you're an inspiration!

blueviolet said...

I wish I felt that way. I'm very self-critical! You rock in your self-confidence!

Jessica said...

I think we've definitely all been there at least once in our lives, right? It doesn't always have to do with weight either. But, I'm glad that you're happy with where you're at -- that's absolutely wonderful and sometimes it takes a lot to get there!

My Mercurial Nature said...

This post almost made me teary-eyed. Alright, fine...it DID make me teary-eyed! That's a lesson every woman needs to learn, because I started picking myself apart so young (when I was beautiful, and young, and thin) and just keep finding things to be critical of (especially now that I'm not so young & beautiful & thin). Gotta love what you've got, right?!

Leiah said...

What a magnificent way to see oneself. I think I'll try channeling a little of that tomorrow. Thank you for the inspiration!

purseblogger said...

I love this Chelle! Us women need to think more like this! You're awesome.

Tylaine said...

Aweosme Post Chelle! You are such an inspiration and a beautiful person. I hope I can come to this realization someday soon too.
Thanks for sharing this! :)

Melissa said...

That's awesome and wonderful... I'm there occassionally/rarely. I'm not there right now. My eating has been VERY poor and I am definitely not feeling good about my body as of this moment. Hopefully soon I will though.

Melissa said...

And I've definitely always been hard on my body.... well not always, but for a lot of my life. It really is unfortunate. Being self-critical of yourself and what you look like is a terrible thing.

Chrissy MacCEO said...

I am jealous of your confidence. I am way too hard on myself - but, unlike you, I never was before. And, I think I was actually heavier & much rounder then I am now when I first met my husband and I truly thought I was the hottest thing! LOL! This is great for you, I am very happy that you love yourself and what you have become. It's a very powerful feeling!

The Mommyologist said...

Girl, you are SO Mom Sexy!! I wish that everyone could learn to love who they are like you do. Women are just SO hard on themselves!! I am guilty of not loving my body sometimes too, but I'm really trying to change that and getting rid of the scale was the first step! I am not a number and I am a hot, sexy, mama even with those extra curves!

Erin said...

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! My husband loves my curves too!! Good for you for the positive vibe today. It really made me happy!

Homesick Cajun said...

Girl if I was close to you I'd give you a big ass hug (ok...and a margarita!!)!! I hated who I was as a teen.

It wasn't until I was in my late 20's and early 30's that I could look in a mirror and thing "Dayum girl...you's be HAWT!!"

And then I hit my late 30's early 40's and I'm like "Ehhh...what in the hell happened to me?" I gained 30lbs, I chopped all my hair off (a moment of temporary insanity!!!).

I hated how I looked but then I, like you, realized...my husband loves me. It could be worse. I'm happy with where I'm am. I love me!

Allison R said...

Awesome post!!!

Working Mommy said...

AMEN sista!!! Our bodies might not be the same after babies, but we are HOT none-the-less!!! AND we have cutie patootie little ones to show for it!

Much More Than Mommy said...

<3. Just <3 <3 <3. :-) And loving yourself will do so much for your girls too. I remember the first time I heard my oldest say she didn't want to wear a certain dress because she "just didn't like how her arms looked in it." She was THREE. Guess where she'd heard that? Got to love ourselves and teach them to love themselves too!

Krystyn said...

Chelle- I'm so happy for you..and so wishing I was right there with you. I think having girls makes us have to get there faster or else they would pick up on it.

Lindsay said...

beautiful post! I loved this post and really needed to read it.. I was all about losing some weight before we try and get pregnant again.. and I think thats fine to try and do that.. but I am no longer going to push the date back hoping to give myself more time. I am going to try and embrace where I am! Thanks for this post!

Messy Mommy said...

amen sista!

Honey B. said...

Learning to love yourself is a very powerful thing!

Terra said...

Oh to be you. Fully ok with who you are - I am trying. I will get there - trying is half the battle I think.