Last summer I took a trip to Kansas to spend a long weekend with my best friend. One of my first nights there, we decided to head over to a house party one of her friends is having. So I got dressed up and was looking pretty good, but not red carpet worthy or anything. Anyway, on the way to the party we make a stop at the liquor store and being that I am underage, I waited in the car. I was just minding my own business (eating Sonic actually) when all of the sudden I am in my own version of a MAD TV skit. The "Can I Have Your Number" skit to be exact.
Like I said, I was just minding my own business when suddenly I realize the guy in the car next to me is trying to get my attention. My first thought was something must be wrong with the car or something. So, nervously, I roll down my window to see what he wants. Then, the guy says "hey, my friend wants to talk to you." Ok? Then the guy in the passenger seat leans over and says "hey! What's your name?" So I told him my name and he says "Patrice? I've never met a white girl named Patrice!" (At this point I'm replaying the skit in my head. "Ivone? That's a french @$$ name!). Then he says "You're cute as hell! Dang! What you doin?!" So at this point, I am flattered by the attention but also kind of freaking out because I'm in a car, alone in a dark parking lot and these guys are trying to hit on me. Plus, I was kind of curious as to how exactly I looked "cute as hell" while
So I'm thinking shoot! I shouldn't have told him, what do I say now!? I'm silently praying for my friends to hurry up and come back. How long does it take to buy alcohol?! I should've just said no, thanks, and rolled up my window or something. Instead I told him "I'm not from here, so I don't know where the party is. It's not my party it's a friend of my friends." "Oh. Where you from then?" Seriously, I'm thinking, what is with the 20 questions? So I tell him "I'm from Dallas... I'm visiting my best friend, we go to school together." "Oh, that's cool," he nods his head in approval. Then he says again, "girl, you are c-U-te (seriously, he said it like that with emphasis on the "u" sound"). Then the creepiest part he says "Girl, get up out of that car and let me see your figure!" Excuse me, what?
Now I am really wanting my friends to come back. I manage a smile and a nervous laugh and say something like "I'm good..." Then he says "I wanna come party with you. Give me your number so I can call you and see where you're at later." This is when I finally got smart and lied. I don't want some random guy I met in a liquor store parking lot having my number, so I lie and tell him I don't know my number by heart, let me look it up. I needed an excuse to look through my phone not for my number, but for the Rejection Hotline.
If you're not familiar with the Rejection Hotline this is what you hear when you call the number :"Hello, this is NOT the person you were trying to call. You've reached the Rejection Hotline, provided by Rejection Hotline.com. Anyway, the person who gave you this Rejection Hotline number did NOT want you to have their real number. We know this sucks, but don't be too devastated. So why WERE you given a Rejection Hotline number? Maybe you're just not this person's type (note: this could mean boring, dumb, annoying, arrogant, or just a general weirdo). Maybe you suffer from bad breath, body odor, or a nasty combination of the two.Maybe you just give off that creepy overbearing, psycho-stalker vibe. Maybe the idea of going out with you just seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns Regardless of the reason, please take the hint and accept the fact that you were rejected and then, get over it. And please, do your best to forget about the person who gave you this number, because trust us they've already forgotten about you."
Harsh, I know. But I'm pretty sure that I am not going to meet my soul mate in the liquor store parking lot and he definitely would not tell me to get up out of the car so he can see my figure. I'm just sayin'... Of course I was terrified that he was going to call the number while I was sitting there and figure out I didn't give him a real number and even worse, I gave him the Rejection Hotline. Luckily, my friends finally came back and we got out of there without any conflict. I have no idea if the guy actually ever called the number, and I guess I'll never know. I think I'm okay with that. ha!
Sometimes life is funny and sometimes you feel like you are starring in your own sitcom, reality show or even a MAD TV skit. At least I have the Rejection Hotline for my defense.
I hope you all enjoyed my post today! (Sorry it took me all day to get it up, I'm kind of a slow blogger sometimes!) Feel free to come by my blog and let me know what you thought! And look out the rest of the week for more awesome guest-bloggers!