Thursday, May 13, 2010

The One Where I Cried...And Cried...

It's been an exhausting month. I'm not sure if Isabella is just having a lot of jealousy...or is craving more attention. But whatever is going on, it's been really, really hard on me. I know that not every day will be filled with sunshine, unicorns and butterflies...

What? You don't have unicorn days?! Those are the best kind of days....what I would do right now for a unicorn day.

*Sigh*

Anyway. I know that being a Mom is hard. I know that it is by far THE hardest job that I've ever had in my life. But today, after many "NO!" and "MOVE, MOMMY!" and beating up on Madelyn episodes I hit my emotional breaking point. The point that has been taunting me day in and day out for weeks now.

I'm sure a lot of you Mom's know exactly what point I am talking about. I raised my voice--which I hate doing. I've always tried really, really hard to NOT raise my voice...and I put her in her room. Madelyn was looking at me the entire time and it's almost like she knew I was about to lose it emotionally. I placed her on the floor, sat down and started crying.

It wasn't just a tear here and there, it was full on bawling my head off. Crying until I felt my eyes getting puffy. Crying until I was sobbing. Isabella came out of her room and saw me. She hugged me. Pleaded me to not cry, Mommy, don't cry...it's okay, Mommy....

And at that moment it was all okay. It's like crying right then for those few minutes cleared the foggy feeling in my brain that has been here for the past few weeks. I know there are so many more things that I could be crying about...but I had to cry today. I'm pretty sure it was the only thing that would have worked today.

30 comments:

Meg from Megs A Mommy! said...

Big hugs! I have been there - but my husband was acting like the child. Sometimes breakdowns=breakthrough!
=)

jo oliver said...

Sometimes crying is the best cure for what ails you. Hang in there:)

Shell said...

I almost always feel better after a good cry.

Love you, girl!

Tylaine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lindsay said...

oo totally been there and just needed a good cry! So sweet that she gave you a hug :-)

Tylaine said...

{HUGS} I think we all totally can relate. Sometimes a good cry is best every now and then or everyday!...lol
If all you do is raise your voice, I admire you!

Patrice said...

aww *hugs*! You have been through a lot.. you deserve a good cry! Especially if it makes you feel better! :) I hope tomorrow is a "unicorn day"!

Heather B. said...

been there, done that! have a toddler and a baby is hard! you are a great mama and this too shall pass!!! big (((((hugs))))) to you!!!

KLZ said...

You're human too and I think in some ways it's good for your girls to see that. Crying is a natural part of life and sometimes it really is the only cure.

Big hugs. You're great.

tinahead81 said...

a good hard cry is always the cure...its what leads up to the crying that always sucks!! hope things are looking up! have a great weekend!

Chrissy MacCEO said...

If it makes you feel any better, you are NOT alone. This has happened to me, too. And lately I seem to be raising my voice more and more each day, and I know my breaking point is soon to come. Things will get better, I promise. My rationalization is that these kids are itching for summer to come, and more of those "unicorn" happy-go-lucky days!

Melissa said...

I have totally done that. Broken down after feeling so overwhelmed and frustrated and just AAAAHHHHH!!!

And then Hayden has said, "mommy... don't be sad. it will be okay mommy."

And that tends to make things better.

It is okay to cry and I think it's good for Hayden to see me cry. To know that it's okay to be sad.

The Mommyologist said...

I definitely have those days where I hit my breaking point! I think that all moms do, and if they tell you otherwise then they are probably just trying to be perfect and hide it.

I probably need to have a good cry more often. I have the hardest time crying for some reason. It's not good to hold those emotions in if you need to let them out!

J. L. W. said...

Sometimes you just have to let it out. I always feel better (and stronger)after a good cry. Sending hugs.

Jenny said...

Oh..I am so sorry you have been having a rough month...a good cry does make things seem a little better..I think we all need one of those once in a while.
Hugs to you!

Homesick Cajun said...

Sorry you had such a bad day boo, it's great when our kids have those sweet moments though!

The Mommyologist said...

I'm back...one more thing...I just nominated you for this Top Mommy Bloggers Contest. Because I love ya!

http://projectmommyhood.blogspot.com/2010/05/introducing-2nd-annual-mommy-blogger-of.html

MommyLovesStilettos said...

Sometimes we just need a good cry. I think all moms have moments like that. *HUGS*

Pres. Kathy said...

Boy do I know how you feel! Being a mom is definitely the hardest thing in the world! We can only take so much. A good cry always works for me! Sending you lots of hugs!

My Mercurial Nature said...

You are NOT alone! My 2.5yr old drives me to the brink of madness sometimes. (((HUGS))) I hope today is better!

Nikki said...

A good cry can make anyone feel better sometimes. I think it's actually necessary to do it!
Glad it helped and that your day is looking brighter!

Lin said...

Everyone has 'those' days & a good cry usually helps me. Hope your weekend is a little bit brighter :)

Hippie4ever said...

I had one of those days yesterday. Sometimes Mommies have bad days too, especially when toddlers are cutting 4 teeth at once and NEVER want to be put down :(

Venassa said...

As I am childless, I've never been there but we brought our mother to that point many times. Who knows, maybe her seeing you get upset like that might change her behavior a bit. But hopefully tomorrow is more like a unicorn day for you.

Terra said...

oh mom, crying is such a neccessary relief and one we avoid most of the time. I have been shedding a lot of tears lately, some in private some not so much...my own mom keeps telling me to let it all it out, you have too. So mom, LET IT ALL OUT. It works (or at least helps a little) God wouldn't have given us tears if they didn't serve some purpose right?

Midday Escapades said...

*Hugs* to you, Chelle. Yes, mommy is the hardest job we have, isn't it? Glad the good cry worked for you. :0)

blueviolet said...

Ya gotta let it out!!! It just builds up and makes you miserable if you don't.

Erin said...

Oh my friend....I do know how you feel. I am so sorry you are having such a hard time right now. Consider yourself receiving an e-hug from me right now!

G-Zell said...

I feel ya mommas! I know I cry alot. Now that I work I cry. SO OMG I am a crybaby and you know what! IT Is alright..

You are such a good mommy. Kids need to be in time out sometimes and we are not perfect.

Luv ya chica , hang in there!

Much More Than Mommy said...

My little one has brought me to that point -- and even though I know I needed those tears, of course she had to break my heart by crying because I was crying!! But it made for a good hugging moment. :-)