Need to Get it Out. This is Rambling.

This week has been shit. There, I said it.

Shit.

I'm sorry if you're offended...but right now? I'm not worried about what others are thinking. I'm going through hell right now. Hell.

Not only have my girls been sick, one had a catheter {Madelyn}, both are running fevers. I'm worried about my babies.

And then. Then there is someone very, very close to my heart who is very, very sick. My heart is shattering in a million little pieces. My chest feels like I have an enormous weight on it. I can't breathe. I think about this person 24/7. 

I just feel like there are so many struggles right now. So many tears are being shed. I know I wrote my lucky post.

And I am lucky. Blessed. I know that. But right now I'm wondering why someone so close to me is suffering so much. Why?? Why does God let these things happen?

There are truly some things in life that make me question things. Him. Life in general. I don't understand why genuinely good, innocent people have to suffer. I don't understand why so many people are taken from our lives every single day.

Babies? Teens? Children? Parents? Really?? I don't understand any of this.

I just needed to get these thoughts off of my chest. I'm obviously going through a lot emotionally lately. Both at home and places where I cannot be right now--which kills me.

Okay. My ramblings are out. I wish I could say I feel better. But I don't....*sigh*