Saturday, September 26, 2009

A Day No Parent Wants to Have. Ever.

I had to call 911 this morning. For my sweet, sweet Isabella.

It's not a call I ever wanted to make. And for one of my girls. Especially not for one of my daughters.

She fell off the bathroom counter this morning. Where she knows it's a no-no, yet I accidentally left the door open to the bathroom. I am the cause for this. Me. It kills me just realizing that.

When she fell she fell backwards. Her head hit our tile floor. I've always hated tile. It's hard. Unforgiving. Dangerous when wet, dangerous when you fall down. And to fall and hit your head? I get sick replaying this in my head.

She was laying there. On the floor. In shock. I ran over to her. Trying to get her to talk to me. I scoop her up in my arms.

"Bella!! Bella, talk to Mommy. Bella!!!! Come on, Bella, please look at Mommy!!" I was frantic.

She closed her eyes.

Started having a seizure.

I was screaming for Leo. Screaming for my baby to please, please wake up.

Leo grabs her.

Checks to see if she's breathing.

She is not.

My baby. My baby that I brought into this world. My baby that I had giggled with, talked to and snuggled with just a mere few hours before WAS NOT BREATHING.

Leo placed her on our bed. Gave her a rescue breath.

I'm dizzy, running for my phone.

Calling 911.

Scared.

Hating myself.

Shaking.

Praying.

Asking God please, please don't take my girl.

Her Dora party is next weekend. She'll only be {2}.

Please, she has her whole life ahead. Please.

Take me if you need someone. Do not take my girl. My #1.

I'm not done living life with my girl yet.

She coughs.

Leo's breath worked.

Ambulance arrives.

She's scared, crying.

One of her feet is curled, turned a funny way. Not normal.

Ambulance ride.

Long.

Scary.

Asking my friends pray.

Had called my mom.

Pray.

Please. Lift your prayers up to God. Our God.

Please.

She starts acting calmer.

Scared. But more like my girl.

CT scans.

Body checks.

Scan results are back.

Everything is okay.

Okay. My baby is okay.

Breathing.

Concussion.

But she is alive.

Hug your babies tight tonite.

And when you think that nothing could happen to you?

Your family?

Remember this post. Please.

Life is a gift.

Don't assume things will be okay forever.

Because I did.

I never thought this could.

Would.

Ever.

Happen.

36 comments:

Chance said...

My heart fell as tears ran down my face reading this post! I was just holding my breathe and praying!

Oh THANK GOD she is okay. I just can't imagine having to go through that.

You and Leo reacted very quickly and were amazing parents in this situation.

Linda @ My Trendy Tykes said...

Thank GOD she is ok.....Girl, I am in tears just thinking about it.

Whew....

HUG HER TIGHT!

Laura said...

Oh, Chelle!!! I am SO sorry that you had to go through this!! I am in tears as I read this and think about what it must have felt like...so, so glad that your little Bella is okay. How scary, and something that a parent should never have to go through. You are in my prayers. xxx

Heidi V said...

I had a similar experience the first time my son had his first seizure your right about the bathroom and tiles, I worry every time he enters it and have flash backs to the injury. Life is a wonderful gift to be cherished everyday.

Julie said...

I am in tears as well... what a scary scary experience. I am so glad that your little one is okay. I will say an extra prayer for all of you tonight!

Sarah said...

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. SO happy that your baby is OK! Going to go give extra hugs to sleeping children....

Maythi said...

Oh my God. Chelle, I read this and my whole body went cold. I just read it to my husband and could not stop crying. Our youngest fell down the stairs a few months ago and I felt like you did, that it was my fault. My fault for not watching her more closely, my fault for not having a gate at the stairs (we have gates everywhere else that block her from getting to the stairs, but one was left open) - we have a gate there now. She was not knocked out, but hit her nose on the fall and there was a lot of blood. I thought I was going to faint. I cannot begin to imagine how you were feeling. I will be keeping her (and you) in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry you had to go through this. I still have chills. DO NOT blame yourself though. Accidents happen. You are an amazing Mommy. Stay strong and keep us posted. Much love,
Maythi (Spooneez)

Heidi@TheCraftMonkey said...

Oh Chelle! I'm so glad she is ok, and so heartbroken that you had to go through this. Praise the Lord that all is well! And thank you for this reminder to us parents.

Kelli @ writing the waves said...

How terrible, Chelle. I am so sorry that happened. I'm so relieved that she is okay. Accidents do happen. It's scary to even think about. One of my worst fears. Any parent's worst fear. I will say a prayer of gratitude for you guys. I am just SO glad that she is okay.

Loukia said...

I am crying for you. My heart stopped when I read this post. I kid you not, oh my GOD, what you went through! I CAN imagine how worried you were, how sick you felt, how hopeless... how horrible! Oh, Chelle... oh, my goodness. That is a nightmare. I am so so so so sorry. Your poor little darling But, oh my GOD thank you GOD that she is okay and that she is alright. That is the best part of the story, that the scans came back normal and that she is herself again. I hate tile floors, too, and when my kids fall off things and hit their heads. You had quite the day. I hope you get some rest, and have a peaceful night. HUGS HUGS HUGS.

A Crafty Mom said...

OMG, I can't imagine. That must have been so terrifying for you. I'm so, so glad to hear that she is okay. What a blessing. And now her birthday will be even extra special!

♥Amber Filkins♥ said...

Oh my Lord!! Thank God that she is okay!! That scared me so badly reading this. I'm always SO paranoid. I pray everyday that nothing happens to my girls. I just could not handle it.

Formerly Gracie said...

Oh my goodness, Chelle! I just so happen to be holding my baby as I was reading this. I can't even imagine anything like this happening to her... or her big brother. What a nightmare! I am so relieved that she's okay, but please keep us updated! Hugs!!!!

Tylerpants said...

How scary! I'm glad to hear she is ok. I'll be extra careful with my son!

Krystyn said...

Chelle-

Oh, my God! I knew everything had to be okay, but this was the scariest moment I have ever read.

I'm so glad Isabella is okay. Give her a hug from me, tonight, too.

(and, a big hug to you, too).

Krystyn said...

I had to come back and add that it is totally not your fault. Toddlers are curious. You can't protect them from everything. Accidents happen. I'm glad you and Leo were there to help her.

*Lissa* said...

OMG. Wow. How incredibly scary!

Do NOT beat yourself up over this. It could (and does) happen to anyone.

SO GLAD your baby is okay.

Heather's Hacienda said...

OMG! I am so glad that she is OK! Seriously my heart sank as I read this. I had a VERY similar experience with Kendall on New Year's Day this year. She flipped out of a chair at my parents on to the tile floor. Hit her head. But seemed fine. Later that night she started acting weird, like eyes rolling back in her head and stuff. I know exactly how you felt. I was SOOO scared. She too had a concussion.
This is NOT your fault. Like Krystyn said, toddlers are so curious. we can't protect them from everything. And that sucks the big one sometimes!!!
Big hugs to all of you tonight!!!

jOni lAnE said...

Chelle,
so relieved to hear that she is going to be okay. i did just that, i called lu lu over to me and squeezed her so tight. we talked about the dangers of climbing on the counters (an ongoing issue in our house) so it was a great reminder for her and i. thank you for sharing your story, and again...soooooo glad to hear that she is okay. i'm sure you are reminded of how Great our God is!!

BabeeLove said...

When reading this I had tears running down my face. I'm so sorry this happened. I hate accidents. She's so young, but I'm thankful she is doing okay. Gosh, I'm sooo glad she is doing okay. Thanks for sharing this heartbreaking post.

Llama said...

OH MY! I had chills the entire time I was reading this! I am so so so glad that she is ok. I am so sorry that you and your family had to go through such a traumatic experience and I hope that you all are doing well. Please dont blame yourself for anything! It was an accident and she is ok! Thank you so much for sharing such a personal experience with everyone, your story really helps to put things into perspective for everyone!

bekki1820cb said...

I am trying so hard to keep my tears from falling.I am so glad that your daughter is okay.I had a similar experience my self when my son was almost 11 months old.He was sick and had such a high temp that I couldn't bring down.I called my mom and she said she would be right there...she worked next door.He started to have seizure.She wasn't getting there fast enough for me....so I threw on shoes and started to run out the door to go to her.I was scremaing for her and started to bang on the windows to the garage next door and my uncle heard me and ran to me and took my son from me.My mom's boyfriend called 911 and my mom, the baby, and I rode to the hospital in the ambulance. In the process of screaming, crying, freaking out, I had fallen with the baby in my arms when.I was running down the back stairs.I caught myself, but not before I broke my foot.We landed in the hospital together.Needless to say, I wasn't giving my son enough medicine to break the fever.That is why he had a seizure.It was awful and I continue to blame myself.He is fine now.They say that bc he had a seizure from a high temp we need to watch out for more in the future when he gets sick. The best you can do is watch out for the little things that can harm your child and take one day at a time.

Lindsay said...

oo my goodness!! How super scary! I am so glad Bella is okay! How is she feeling today? How are you holding up? Leo? So glad everything turned out okay!

Mrs. Newlywed said...

Oh my gosh! I am SO GLAD she is okay!

Lin said...

OMG, I'm SO glad she's ok.

Susan said...

OMG! I'm so glad that she is alright. I want to go hug my little one a little more before he goes to bed. Praying for you.

amanda said...

oh honey...i am so very sorry. sorry it happened in the first place and sorry that you are carrying an extra load of mommy guilt.

so glad that you both are ok today - please don't beat yourself up about this...you both deserve lots of extra snuggles.

sending some your way - xoxo

Theta Mom said...

I got chills reading this and my eyes were glued to your every word. I can't even imagine the terror you felt as you saw this unfold. All I can say is thank the man upsatirs for watching over your little girl. It could happen to any one of us. Makes you see life a little bit differently I'm sure. Extra hugs sent your way!

blueviolet said...

I'm so terribly sorry this happened. I can't imagine your terror in that instant and I'm so thankful that she is ok!

Becks said...

Chelle,

Im so sorry you had to go through this! It is truly the scariest thing a mom can go through! I am so glad and releived Isabella is ok and happy!! I cant imagine the fear you felt! My heart aches just thinking about it! Jesus is taking care of you and Isabella and the rest of your family! She had her guardian Angel watching over her!!

I too had to call 911 once for Sophia. I never shared the story because I had such intense guilt. It wasnt life threatening but I thought I had scarred my baby for life. I was cooking dinner...boiling water and spices to make my husbands favorite dish. This was about 6 months ago. Sophia had to be involved with EVERYTHING i was doing back then...so I had her on a chair playing with bowls/spoons on the countertop. I never thought she could reach the pot. But she did, little stinker leaned on her tippy toes grabbed the boiling pot and it and her came tumbling to the ground. I will never forget the look on her face and the panic that overtook me. The fear that I had just scarred my baby for life. She was drenched head to toe in the boiling water. I frantically called 911 barely able to breathe. The lady walked me through what to do while I waited for the paramedics. It was beyond awful!!By a miracle from God only her hand was badly burned. We thought for sure her hand would be scarred but it is not. You would never know. I honestly believe it was a miracle because she was soaked in that boiling water. I had so much guilt about I couldnt talk about it without crying my eyes out. So dont feel too bad...at least you didnt put her in reach of boiling water for goodness sake. That is like mommy no-no 101. But here we are, we got through it and I appreciate the miracle God provided us that day!!

I pray you feel peace about it and dont beat yourself up, because it is not worth wasting your energy when you could be using it to give all that love to your girls! :)

Take care sweetie! Big hugs to you guys!

Elaine A. said...

Oh honey, how scary! I'm so sorry this happened but please don't blame yourself. It can happen in an instant. Many hugs and so glad things weren't worse...

Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...

Oh Chelle! I am so sorry that this happened. I cannot even imagine what you were feeling. I am so glad that Bella is okay. I have been behind on my blog reading and I am sitting her in shock and feeling so much for you right now. I am so, so glad that she is okay. How scary!

Anti-Supermom said...

Oh no, my internet was down. What a horrible story. I'm so sorry that this happened to you both, but I'm happy to see an update, that it looks and sounds OK.

This reminds me very much of what happen to Wyatt, which I didn't really blog too much about, just the black eye. You very vividly, reminded me that yes, life is precious.

Andrea said...

oh my.... I am so glad she is okay!

Amy said...

glad she's okay - I always think of things like this, if my snoogs does fall - he runs to me for a hug then wants to go play again - doing the same thing! I hear the smack! of head to ground or whatever body part for hours after wards. I hope he doesn't end up as dyspraxic as me.

He spent his first few hours in NICU due to a mistake of the midwife - didn't beleive my water had broken when I told when she came in later - they put him in there just in case of infection - he had to have an ivy and like me his veins all collapsed so it was in his head... and it was just so awful...

I'm sorry this happened but so glad she's okay

Kristin said...

I'm literally typing through tears. What a horrible moment for a mommy to have to go through. I'm so glad she's ok. Makes me want to go over CPR again with the hubs.