Yesterday was a day of firsts. My first morning waking up without the snuggles and scruffy face of Leo. The first where our entire day is up to me--from the moment we are up and running to the moment I have to tuck them into bed with a story.
It's hard to describe the feelings that came over me this morning as I woke up happily and then suddenly realizing why I tossed and turned all nite long. He wasn't next to me.
I could have started my day just feeling sorry for myself and moping around declaring it the first of many more to come pajama days. But when I saw my girls' smiling faces at me? It hit me.
I am the strong one. I am the one to hold them when they cry and kiss them unconditionally. I am the one to greet them every morning with a kiss, a hug and a promise of a good day.
I kicked the other Chelle to the curb and started our day. We started with 8:30 mass which I have been a little nervous about doing by myself...but the girls? Did a fabulous job. No tantrums, fits, nada. Love my girls, it's as if they know that I need help right now...
The rest of our day was insanely busy. A trip to the park, some pb&j sandwiches, nap for Madelyn, vacuuming out my car, picking up dog...well, you know, the brown stuff outside...ew, cleaning both bathrooms, cleaning the mirrors and patio door.
We finished our day with a bubble bath, some tears for Daddy, and a reading of our favorite bedtime story, Knuffle Bunny Too (we love all of the Knuffle Bunny books--if you haven't read them before you must run out and see--they? Are one of our faves by far....).
Pretty sure my heart broke at bedtime with the tears...my chest felt like it was weighed down and I had to just breathe to calm down and be strong for the girls. They're just so little--even little Bella doesn't understand what "Daddy's gone for a long, long time sweetheart" means.
So until tomorrow, I love you all for your kind words, your prayers, your uplifting thoughts, your offers to come and visit you for a mini getaway. You have no idea how much you have comforted me in the past couple of days...thank you, thank you, thank you.