Saturday, September 11, 2010

And My Tears Poured Out...He is Gone

Today has been the day at the top of my dread list for the past few weeks. Not only is it one of the worst days in our nation's history, but Leo left today. The irony of him leaving for a country that had a huge impact on why our military is doing what they're doing has been numbing to me. I just want to yell at the guilty that because of their hatred towards us, my husband is gone away from his family until next spring.

This morning my tears have been on overdrive...making our bed and smoothing down our covers and thinking of how long it will be until my husband will be lying next to me made me bawl.

Pulling out of our driveway and admiring all of the hard work that he did this week to our yard and tree made me lose it.

Driving to the airport  brought on a new flood of tears and caused more mascara to pour down my cheeks.

And the goodbyes. Oh, how the goodbyes sucked. The hurt in my heart, the emptiness that was left by my side where my husband should be...it's killing me inside.

For the next six months my blog will be chronicling our days, our lives, our happenings for my best friend...I hope that by seeing the girls and reading my words it will help us all get through these next few months.

And if I'm sappy, crying, making no sense? I apologize in advance--but hopefully each day that goes by will make me a little happier knowing that I have one less day without my honey. 

33 comments:

emptyuterus.com said...

I *love* your last comment. That is the best possible way to think of it - each day, each hour, each MINUTE is one minute closer to when he returns. ((hugs))

Erinsgobragh said...

Hang in there girl. We are here for you so use us! please shoot me an e-mail or a DM if you need to talk. I'm pretty much home 24/7 taking care of my Samantha so I'm available for a pick me up talk if you ever need one. :D

Lots of love coming your way and my prayers are with Leo!

Dalia (Generation X Mom) said...

Hang in there. And, blogging about it all will probably help...so keep writing :).

Mrs.Rotty said...

I feel for you my dear! Its the hardest part. If you ever need to vent or need someone to talk to I am here. I know I'm just another blogger. but I also am a fellow military wife.

I've been on all sides of this story. I've been the daughter saying good bye to her daddy, I've been the wife saying goodbye to her husband, and I've been the one who is leaving.

I will keep you and your kids in my thoughts and prayers.

Being a military wife is the hardest job out there!

purseblogger said...

Oh Chelle hon, I'm so sorry. My heart is breaking for you. But, you are strong and you will get through this. Your last comment was the best because it's true. Each minute that passes means each minute closer he is to being home with you and your girls again. Leo is sacrificing so much for his service. Please tell him thank you for us. xoxo
I'm here if you need to talk, day or night. Love you.

jaime said...

I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Andrea (ace1028) said...

I am so sorry that your husband had to leave, but please know that I thank you for letting him go and I thank him for being incredible enough to leave. I am sure this is incredibly difficult for you both, and your loved ones, and I wish him strength and safety as he travels all these miles to continue to protect us all. Much bloggy love to you!

Honey B. said...

I'm so sorry Chelle...lots of love and hugs to you and your girls!

Bombtastic Belle said...

I woke up thinking about y'all this morning... please know if you need anything at all, I'm here. We'll be keepig Leo in our prayers!

*Lissa* said...

I'm so sorry. Much love to you and your family.

Elaine A. said...

You KNOW I'm thinking of you and praying for his safety as well as for the Lord to watch over you and the girls while he's gone.

Please tell him "thank you" from us as well...

Let me know if you need anything. I know I'm not close, but still...

Elaine A. said...

Oh and by "him" I mean Leo! :)

Carrie said...

You are all in my prayers.

Heather B. said...

oh honey! praying for you and leo and the girls for the next few months! also praying for his safety! hopefully the time will go by quickly! <3 u!

Julie said...

Oh Chelle... what a tough day! Sending you lots of hugs and good thoughts :)

Erin said...

You are on my mind and in my heart. I am so sorry---I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for you right now.....I know we don't know each other very well, but if you ever need to talk, call me. My home # is 913.789.0962.

Hang in there, sweets. You have a boatload of friends (virtual and otherwise) supporting you.

HUGS!

Megan said...

I'm so sorry. Sending lots of good thoughts your way.

Mellisa Rock said...

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way - may your family stay happy, healthy and safe during this time of separation. HugS!

That One Mom said...

I can't imagine for a second what your and your family are going through. Just know we are all here for you along this journey.

Llama said...

Im sorry. So very very sorry you are so sad. I think you have an amazing and brave hubby who would to anything to keep his family safe in this country. Honestly, it is people like him that we owe our lives to. People just forget sometimes how lucky we are here. I hope that blogging lends itself as an outlet for you. I think its wonderful that you can document your lives together especially during this time, for your girls, for your husband and for you.
Take it one day at a time.
xo

Drama queens mum (Kimberly) said...

I'm so sorry. That must be so hard for him to be away. He is doing a great thing though & you must be so proud of him. Looking forward to your upcoming posts.

mommablogsalot said...

::hugs:: I honestly can't even imagine what you must be going through but you and your family are SO in my thoughts right now.

Thank goodness for the internet which can slightly bridge the gap. We've come a long way since (hopefully received) handwritten letters. I'm sure your posts here will mean the world to him!

The Blue Zoo said...

Oh, how sad. Im sorry!

amanda said...

you did it honey! you made it your first night...you can do this friend!! we are all right here cheering you on! whatever you need - your bloggy army is willing and waiting :)

lots of love and hugs...

Lakeyshia said...

Aww Michelle, been there done that. My heart goes out to you and the girls...try to stay busy, I think it is the biggest Key! If you need to vent, cry or need to talk let me know!

Grace {Formerly Gracie} said...

I've been thinking of you and your family this entire weekend! Thank you to for your tremendous service- yours and Leo's- to make our country what it is.

My words suck. I can not even express how I

Grace {Formerly Gracie} said...

oops! got cut off...

I can not even express how much I'm feeling for you right now. Everything I've wanted to say doesn't even come close... Hugs, sweetie.

Lindsay said...

oo reading this post brought tears to my eyes! I will be keeping you guys in my prayers.. I will be checking in on you as well!

Tylaine said...

Oh that's so hard Chelle. I had no idea Leo was in the service. God Bless him for that. I really feel for you and how difficult things are. This is your blog and you can use it anyway you want.
{Hugs and Prayers}

→Daniele← said...

Sending hugs!! All I can say is that I know how you are feeling and I so clearly remember the floods of tears and the anger at the guilty and the triggers for sadness hitting you when you sometimes don't even expect it. I'll be praying for his safety and for the time to go really fast!!
xo

Vanessa said...

Chelle, I am so so sorry girl. I cannot imagine what it must be like. Please thank your husband from me and my family. It is SUCH a sacrifice that he is doing for all of us. I appreciate you and your girls for your grace in allowing him to go. You hold your head up high and be proud of him and know that we will be here to help you when you are feeling sad. Many hugs!

Just Another Mom of 2 said...

Oh, I am so sorry girl. What a situation to be in. I hope the time goes by as quickly as it possibly can- and thanks to you both for your sacrifice. What you do affects all of us. Hang in there mama.

Allison R said...

I got teary eyed just reading this post. Hang in there! HUGS