And I'm Outta Here...Randoms for the Road...

~I'm leaving on a jet plane tomorrow early in the a.m for Indiana...it's my first time away from both girls & under the circumstances I'm a little anxious right now {how happy am I that I went back to my old dosage of Effexor?!}. I can't wait to see my Dad at the airport and the rest of my family. I need them right now...

~Thank you SO much for your sweet words, prayers, thoughts. You have no idea how much it's meant to me in the past 23 hours. Have I told you how much I love you? I do--so, so much!

~Pretty sure I didn't sleep at all last nite. Tossed. Turned. Cried. Prayed. Talked to my Grandpa {do any of you do that? Talk to loved ones who have passed away?}. Then Bellie came to my room--and she tossed. And turned. *sigh* Hoping I sleep better tonite.

~I was at Kohl's for hours today trying to find outfits for the visitation and funeral. It was weird, but each time that I tried something on? I didn't feel like it was good enough for my Grandpa. Weird and stupid I know, but I just wanted the perfect outfits. Finally bought a couple of really pretty dresses...

~Tonite I was doing some photo editing of pictures with my Grandpa in them. I left Photoshop open while I was feeding Maddie--it had a picture of my Grandpa {Bellie called him Poppy} and she automatically came over and told me "Poppy! Mommy, it's Poppy. Poppy's sick, Mommy. Poppy sick." I tried my best to explain that Poppy wasn't sick anymore and that he is our angel in heaven watching over us now. She looked up at me and said "Feffen? Feffen, Mommy?". It took all I had to not start crying...instead I smiled and told her yes...Poppy? Is definitely in feffen.

~My amazing and super sweet friend brought us a homemade dinner tonite--she's amazing. I've hardly thought about food since everything has happened, so this? Was the sweetest and most caring act of kindness ever. She also brought over pasta and different sauces that would be easy for Leo to cook for him and the girls while I am away. Isn't she amazing?

~We had to turn our ac on tonite--it was 80 degrees in our house. At 8:30 at nite. With all of the windows and fans on. Insane, right? Barely into April and I was sweating like a....well, I was just hot.

~I'll be back on Saturday. I'll miss y'all--and can't wait to catch up once I return home. Thank you again for everything--I have the most amazing family and friends ever! <3