Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Pouring it Out...Glass Two...

It's Wednesday--which means pour your heart at over at Shells's--Things I Can't Say. Love her and I love her Wednesday meme.




I had a friend...she was one of the best friends that I've ever had. She was bold. Didn't care about what anyone thought or said about her. Before I met Leo if a guy tried to talk to me she would give him the 3rd degree and question him on his motives. When I met Leo she loved him. She told me that I had a keeper. I loved her.

She took me to my first horse races. She would go to the gym with me and make me get my {then} skinny booty in shape--she told me even though I was skinny didn't mean I was in shape and healthy. She was totally right. I loved her.

She was like an older sister--the older sister I never had. She took care of me. She talked to me about everything. I loved her.

She moved away to Germany a few years after we met. It was from there that she called me to tell me that she had found a lump. While showering. At the gym.

She assured me that it was nothing. But I could tell how scared she was. I told her to call me as soon as she found anything out. And she did.

And the news was the worst news possible. She had breast cancer. And she was young.

She came to San Antonio for some of her surgeries. Her treatments. She would always come and stay with me when she could. The same went for checkups when she was cancer free. She would stay at our home--she would go shopping with me. Hang out with us at one of our favorite bars. Her mom came down and we all went out. Oh, her Mom. I totally saw where she got her spunk from--I immediately loved her mom.

She was there in San Antonio when I realized something wasn't right with my first pregnancy. She was there with coffee made when I came home with the puffiest eyes ever and she didn't need me to tell her what was wrong. She knew my baby was in heaven.

A couple of months later, before Leo and I were to leave to Turkey, she called me. We talked forever. She was so excited that I would be in Turkey--we talked about visiting one another. She told me she was playing softball and how much she loved it. She told me that her back was bothering her, but she totally blew it off.

A little over a month later we arrived in Turkey. I hadn't heard from her and I assumed she was just swamped with work. I emailed her a few times telling her 'Helloooo! I'm here!! Where are you?'. It was a week after that I found out her cancer had returned. It had spread and it was bad. Really, really bad.

Shortly after? She died. My best friend died. I never told her goodbye. I never got a chance to tell her how much she meant--and still means--to me. I loved her. I love her. I'll never, ever forget her.

And her name? Is Angi. Angi who fought cancer. Angi who beat cancer. Angi who inspires me still to this day.

Love you, Ang. I'll never, ever forget you. Your spirit. Your happiness. Your everything. xoxo

34 comments:

Shannon said...

I just hate...hate...hate...cancer..it truely does suck..I am so sorry for your loss, it sounds like you two were kindred spirits...thanks for sharing this touching story!

Brittney said...

Im crying!! Sorry for your loss!! Sounds like yall had a wonderful friendship!

Honey B. said...

I'm so sorry Chelle... *hugs*

Kristi said...

I am totally crying :( I never knew a lot of those details :( Soooooo sorry sis :(

Laura said...

I dont know you (Im pretty new here) or Angi...but I am heartbroken for you.

Life is so unfair sometimes. And cancer is a horrible thing. (My Mom was diagnosed with lymphoma in Dec and we are going thru chemo now).

Im so sorry for you.

Big hugs.

Jodie said...

*BIG HUG* I am SO sorry for your loss. She sounded like such a wonderful friend--someone who knew you inside and out. I lost my mom to breast cancer. Cancer really does suck!! I'm sure Angi is looking down on you from heaven and is your special guardian angel.

Melissa said...

Wonderful post. I am sorry for your loss. It sounds like Angi was a great person.

Rach (Mommy Learns to Blog) said...

Cancer? SUCKS.

What a beautiful story and testament to your friendship with Angi. It sounds like you were so lucky to share the time you DID share with her.

I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine. Sending you a huge hug right now - I know Angi is still very much there in spirit and watching over you and your beautiful family. xoxo

Shell said...

Bug hugs, love!

What an amazing friendship that you two had.

The world makes no sense sometimes. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thanks for pouring your heart out. :(

Messy Mommy said...

So heartbreaking. I've lost a friend but never a best friend. Breast cancer seems to be more and more common these days. It's so scary.

Jennifer Leigh said...

She sounds amazing. I'm so sorry you had to lose someone so special!

Rebecca D said...

This story was beautiful, beautifully sad... I am a sobbing mess...

My mom has breast cancer... we just found out about two weeks ago... she had a double masectomy today. She is doing fine... I am a mess...
I hate cancer... it is the only thing I hate... I save that word only for cancer.

Tara said...

That story was so beautiful. I had to hold back the tears. Thanks for sharing.

Karen Lisa said...

Cancer is the devil. A friend of mine recently lost her 30-ish year old husband to cancer, on New Year's Day. I am still in disbelief that something could happen to someone so young. Someone I know.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Your friend will always live on in your heart!

Heather @ Gerber Days said...

It is not often that we come across someone that we truly "connect" with. You will always have her in your heart. That is such a heartbreaking story. So sad. She sounds like a great girl.

Amanda said...

Oh, Chelle {{{HUGS}}} This post had tears streaming down my face. I am so, so sorry that you lost your best friend. But I am also happy that you met her, and that you found a friend that loved you so much! Friends like that are so important. I'm sure she's smiling down on your and your beautiful family.

The Mommyologist said...

Ok, this is just about the saddest thing I've ever read. How AWFUL. Cancer scares the crap out of me. It has affected too many people I know. I am so sorry for your loss honey!

Heather said...

You have me crying at work. :( I'm so sorry for your friend and her life ending too soon. This is a beautiful tribute to her, though. And I imagine her smiling down on you right now.

Homesick Cajun said...

Oh Chelle, I'm so sorry! God cancer is AWFUL! Sounds like you two had a wonderful friendship! Hugs boo!

MommyLovesStilettos said...

This brought me to tears. I am so sorry you lost your best friends. I can't even imagine. *HUGS*

Pres. Kathy said...

I am sending you lots of hugs! I am so sorry that you lost your friend. In our tradition we say, "May her memory be eternal." You will always remember her - keep her memory alive!

Lindsay said...

aww such a beautiful friendship you 2 had! I know she will forever be a part of you! Those friendships are hard to find!

Krystyn said...

What a very special friend and friendship you guys had. I know she will always be with you.

amanda said...

so sorry friend. losing friends is so very hard. but for the record i am sure she knew just how much you loved her...

Erin said...

Oh. My. Gosh. I am wordless. I am so sorry that you lost such an amazing friend. BIG hugs!

Erin said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. That is incredibly sad. I'll offer a prayer for her, her family, and you!

Bubble said...

May she RIP lots of love x

Formerly Gracie said...

Oh Chelle! What a terrible loss to bear. I'm so sorry. I just want to hug you.

blueviolet said...

I am SO sorry that you never had the chance to say goodbye. What a horrible monster that cancer is.

J. L. W. said...

I am so sorry you lost your friend. This was such a touching post and a beautiful memorial for her.

purseblogger said...

I'm so sorry. The loss of a loved one is so hard. She sounds amazing. I also blogged today on Pour Your Heart Out about losing a friend. Such special spirits. {{HUGS}}

morewineplease said...

Oh gosh girl... now I am crying at work!
YOu were so blessed by her friendship and I know you are thankful for the time you had, you can tell by this beautiful post!

Bombtastic Belle said...

That was beautiful - a perfect way to tell about your best friend who touched your life. :)

My Mom had cervical cancer when I was in high school - but I didn't know it, she kept it a secret from me and my sister, only Dad knew. It's such a blessing that you got to know about your friend.

Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...

I am getting all teary eyed right now. Angi sounds like a strong woman and an awesome friend. What a beautiful tribute post to your dear friend. Sending a great big hug your way...